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Saturday Night Live took on the anti-Israel protests sweeping the nation in its cold opening Saturday, with a blue-collar parent warning that his daughter better not squander her tuition by participating. Kenan Thompson, playing Uber-driver father, appeared as one of three college parents discussing the weeks-long saga on a NY1 "Community Affairs" talk show hosted by cast member Michael Longfellow. Each agreed that they supported the movement, but Thompson made clear his support didn't extend to his little girl's participation. "Alexis Vanessa is gonna have her butt in class," Thompson said, saying he would not let his $68,000 annual tuition go to waste. "Let me find out she's in one of them damn tents instead of the dorm room that I pay for." When a Hunter College father confusedly asked why he said he supported the protests — which resulted in hundreds of arrests at Columbia since the encampment sprung up two weeks ago — Thompson clarified that he supports "ya'lls kids." "I'm out here busting my hump to pay all that tuition," Thompson said, telling The New School mom played by Heidi Gardner: "Sister, I do it all." "Uber all day. Uber Eats all night. Cut grass on the weekends. Sell Gucci watches out my trunk. Life coaching on IG. All for that for her to say she's got a degree in African Studies. It's like, little girl, you've been Black your whole life. Longfellow even brought up the raid on Columbia's Hamilton Hall, which was taken over for nearly 24 hours by brazen protesters. The parents admitted they would be nervous to see their children become one of the many who were cuffed, but seemed at peace with the fact that their kids might not celebrate their graduation this year — referencing the series of commencement ceremonies that were canceled in anticipation of protest disruptions. Thompson, however, was adamant that he'd get his moneys worth from Columbia and would see his daughter cross the stage. "Alexis Vanessa will be graduated even if I got to do it myself," Thompson said. "You better believe I will be in there hooting and hollering after they explicitly tell us to wait until the end. That's all I know."
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