Pauly Shore is very sad Richard Simmons doesn't like his Richard Simmons movie

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Left: Pauly Shore in 2024 (Photo: C Flanigan/imageSPACE/Shutterstock), Right: Richard Simmons in 2013 (Photo: Eric Charbonneau/Shutterstock)

What, exactly, would it feel like, to suddenly have Pauly Shore insert himself into your life? It's the kind of question that haunts most of us merely in the hypothetical. But for mostly-retired fitness guru Richard Simmons, it's become a very real concern of late. Simmons—who people just cannot be normal about, apparently, between this and the Missing Richard Simmons podcast—hopped back on social media this week to clarify (again!) that he has nothing to do with Shore's upcoming movie about him, and that he does not approve of its existence.

Pauly Shore wants to play Richard Simmons in a biopic, buddy

"I just read that a man that I don't know is writing my bio pic starring Pauly Shore," Simmons posted online this week, referring to writer Jordan Allen-Dutton, best known for his work on Adult Swim's Robot Chicken. "I do not approve this movie. I am in talks with major studios to create my own biopic with some help. Wait for this movie."

Shore responded to this (very polite!) note about the movie Richard Simmons does not want made about his own, actual life by hopping on his own socials and posting a 300-word missive in which he says he was "up all night crying" over Simmons' comment.

The whole thing is honestly worth reading, since it's a sort of masterclass in cringe: Shore negs Simmons ("Leonardo DiCaprio's not gonna play you. Brad Pitt's not gonna play you. I'm perfect."); he tries to draw on personal connections ("I know you, Richard. We used to hang out back in the day. I'd always see you at The Comedy Store. You're my old buddy."); flatters him aggressively ("I also heard the good news that you're in talks with studios to do a biopic about yourself. That's amazing! The more movies about you, the better!"); and then finishes the whole thing up by reminding Simmons that unauthorized biopics get made all the time, and there's nothing he can necessarily do about it. Oh, and he says "amaze-balls." In 2024!

Shore and Allen-Dutton's film is currently set up at The Wolper Group, which is a subsidiary of Warner Bros. Shore previously played Simmons in a short film, "The Court Jester."

[via Variety]